Finding An Elephant - Funny Joke

Mrs. Smith, the first grade teacher was quizzing her pupils on natural history. "Now, Johnny, tell me where is the elephant found."

Johnny struggled for the answer. Finally with a look of pride he blurted out: "The elephant is so big that he's never lost."

The Smart Horse - Funny Animal Joke

A cowboy fell off his horse and broke his leg while strolling out on the prairies. The steed grabbed his master's belt in his teeth, carried him to the shelter and then went to fetch the doctor.

Talking it over a few weeks later, a friend of the cowboy's praised the horse's intelligence. "Quite a horse you've got there, he said. "Smart as a whip."

"Heck, he's not so smart," replied the cowboy. "He came back with the veterinarian."

Room For The President - Funny Joke

A man walked into a hotel. "I'd like a room for tonight," he told the clerk.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we have no vacant rooms," the clerk answered.
"Not even one room?" the man asked.
"No, sir, we're full tonight," said the clerk.

The man thought for a moment. "Please tell me, if the President of our country came in and asked for a room, would you give him one?"

"If the President asked for a room, I would find one for him!" the clerk replied.

"Well, the President is not coming here tonight. So give me the room you would have given him!"

The Oldest Profession - Funny Joke

A surgeon, an engineer, and a politician were debating which of their professions was the oldest.

"Eve was made from Adam's rib," said the surgeon, "and that, of course, was a surgical procedure."

"Yes," countered the engineer, "but before that, order was created out of all chaos—and that most certainly was an engineering job."

"Aha!" exclaimed the politician triumphantly. "And just who do you think created the chaos?"

Headline Howlers - The Classics

Humorous headlines as they appeared in newspapers:

• Survivor of Siamese Twins joins parents
• Two sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout counter
• Juvenile court to try shooting defendant
• Officers' wives to select new officers
• Jury gets drunk driving case here
• Man is fatally slain
• Night school to hear pest talk
• Prisoners escape from prison farm after execution
• Hotel burns. Two hundred guests escape half glad
• Santa Rosa man denies he commited suicide in South San Francisco
• Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
• Senate passes death penalty. Measure provides for electrocution for all persons over 17
• Thugs eat then rob proprietor
• Toilet seats stolen. Police have nothing to go on
• Wild wife league will meet tonight
• Local man has longest horns in all Texas
• Officer convicted of accepting bride
• Staten Island Ferry Hits Pie, 18 Injured

Shock Therapy - Funny Joke

My cousin Pat is a psychiatrist. He firmly believes in shock therapy.

He gives his clients their bills in advance.