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Credit Card Signature - Funny Joke

True story sent by a reader: 

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. 

When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

Outnumber Your Enemies - Funny Joke

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket.

After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"

Night Of Passion Joke

An ant and an elephant share a night of romance.

The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.

"Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"

Little Johnny And The Priest

Little Johnny's is coming home from the store swinging the loaf of bread in one hand and the other hand in his pants pocket.

Along come Priest Joe and he thinks to himself, "This is a good opportunity to say something from the bible to Little Johnny.

"He walks up to Little Johnny and says, "I see Little Johnny that you have the Staff of Life in one hand. What do you have in the other?"

Little Johnny replies, "A loaf of bread Father."

The Perfect Husband - Funny Joke

A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?

"He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"

The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your thoughts."

"Communicate my thoughts?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means.

"The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."