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What Are Ancestors Joke

“Papa, what are ancestors?”

“Well, my son, I’m one of yours. Your grandpa is another.”

“Oh! Then why is it people brag about them?”

Little Willie Goes To Concert Joke

Mother took Willie to his first concert. The conductor was leading the orchestra and directing the soprano soloist as well. Willie was greatly interested.

“Mother, why is that man shaking his stick at the lady?” he asked.

“Hush; he is not shaking his stick at her.”

“Then what is she screaming for?”

Do You Smoke - Funny Joke

“How many cigars do you smoke a day?”
“About ten.”
“What do they cost you?”
“Twenty cents a piece.”
“My, that’s two dollars a day. How long have you been smoking?”
“Thirty years.”
“Two dollars a day for thirty years is a lot of money.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Do you see that office building on the corner?”
“Yes.”
“If you had never smoked in your life you might own that fine building.”
“Do you smoke?”
“No, never did.”
“Do you own that building?”
“No.”

Bad Memory - Funny Joke

An 80-year-old-couple are having problems remembering things, so they decide to see their doctor to find out if anything is wrong with them. They see the doctor and tell him about the memory problems they've been having. After a check-up, the doctor tells them that they are physically fine but might want to start writing things down to help them remember things. They thank the doctor and leave.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Where are you going?" asks his wife.

"To the kitchen," he replies.

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" she asks.

"Sure," he says.

She says, "Maybe you should write it down so you'll remember."

"I'll remember," he says

"Well, I would also like some strawberries on top," she says.

"You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget."

"I can remember that," he says, as he begins to loose his patience. "You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

"I would also like whip cream on top," she adds, "I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

Hopping mad he says, "I don't need to write that down! I will remember just fine." He fumes into the kitchen to get the food.

20 minutes later he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where the hell is my Pineapple juice?"

10 Funny Animal Pictures

A collection of funny animal pictures that's sure to bring a smile on your face.



The Worried Kid - Funny Joke

Two kids are talking to each other. 

One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!"

The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!"

The first kid says, "What if they try to escape?"