At Both Ends - Funny Joke

"Son, I'm worried about your being at the bottom of the class."

"Pop, they teach the same stuff at both ends." 

Buffalo Bill - Funny Joke

The teacher asked: "What was the name of the person in Greek mythology who was half man and half animal?"

Billy raised his hand.

"Yes?" the teacher acknowledged.

"Buffalo Bill," replied Billy. 

An Honest Answer - Funny Joke

A teacher was asked to fill out a special questionnaire for the state.

One question said, "Give two reasons for entering the teaching profession."

The teacher wrote: "Summer Vacation and Winter Vacation."

The Team Photo - Funny Joke

Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. 

A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "82-83," "83-84," "84-85," etc.

One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. 

Turning to me, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"

The Bar Betting Joke

I found myself in a pub in Patiala and a group of American tourists came in.

One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Punjabis think you're great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no-one here can drink 3 bottles of Jack Daniels in 10 minutes."

The bar was silent, the American noticed Santa leaving, no-one took up the bet. 20 minutes later Santa who left returned and said, "Hey Yank, is your bet still on?"

"Sure," said the American, "3 JD in 10 minutes for a bet of $5,000."

"Great...," replied Santa, "so pour the whisky and start the clock."

It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.

"OK Yank, pay up." said Santa.

"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?"

"Well sir," replied Santa, "$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it !