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Career Change - Funny Joke

Watson, a longtime sales representative became dissatisfied with his career and decided to become a police officer.

Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new job.

"Well," he replied, "the pay isn't great and the hours are long, but one thing I really like is that the customer is always wrong.!

Annuity For Life Joke

After graduating from law school and passing the bar exam, Earl Schein went to work for his father. Several years later, the elder Schein retired and Earl took over his father's practice.

One evening, in a mood of obvious elation, he rushed to his father's home.

"Dad, I've got great news," he shouted. "I settled that old Anderson suit at last."

"Settled it!" cried the astonished father.

"Why, I gave you that case as an annuity for life

Eliminating The Competition Joke

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door with a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.'

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.'

The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read 'MAIN ENTRANCE'.

The lawyers And The Terrorists Joke

One day, a group of terrorists hijacked a Bar Association charter flight.

The terrorists announced that, until their demands were met, they would release one lawyer per hour.

Stock Market Basics Joke

A stockbroker was cold calling about a penny stock and found a taker. "I think this one will really move said the broker, it's only $1 a share. "

"Buy me 1000 shares. " said the client.

The next day the stock was at $2. The client called the broker and said, "You were right, give me 5000 more shares. "
The next day the client looked in the paper and the stock was at $4.

The client ran to the phone and called the broker, "Get me 10,000 more shares said the client. "

"Great! " said the broker.

The next day the client looked in the paper and the stock was at $9.

Seeing what a great profit he had in just a few days, the client ran to the phone and told the broker, "Sell all my shares! "

"To whom? You were the only one buying that stock. "

Sardar Fools The Devil Joke

Three men a philosopher, a mathematician and a Sardarji, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. 

"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell." 

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared. 

The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared, too.

The Sardarji stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. The Sardar then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?" 

The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right."

"Wrong," said the Sardar, "it's from my ass hole."
and---
the Sardar went to Heaven !!